Hello! I’m Michael Pick.
I make words and media-things from an impossibly tall, thin house, on a tiny slither of land, at the foot of a gargantuan Japanese mountain.
I’ve spent most of my working life as a writer, producer, and editor. In a bid to escape having ‘content provider’ or ‘internet shill’ burned onto my screaming face as civilization collapses, I now spend my days replying to emails, and my nights crudely nudging stories, sounds, and visuals into some semblance of shape.
This allows me to do what I enjoy, without depriving my family of food or having to loudly feign interest in psychologically and socially corrosive notions such as ‘platform building’, ‘filling the funnel’, ‘drip campaign strategy’, or ‘optimizing conversion rates’. As a consequence, I sleep like an opiated man-baby.
Except when I don’t. When I dream those words being spat at me by a hollow-eyed, torch wielding, HubSpot certified mob intent on enrolling me in their online courses. Those nights are hard. Unforgiving. I wake drenched in sweat, the smell of flimsily justified ebooks still burning in my nostrils. The mob is frenzied. Not with the confused, misguided anger of, say, a Trump or Brexit voter. But rather the data-informed zeal of Thought Leaders needling 5pt, grey-on-white Unsubscribe text into the automated marketing email of my lead scored flesh. ‘Optimize his conversion rate!’ they chant in unison, through their TED-x grinning death masks, drowning out my opt-out pleas as their tattoo guns draw closer to my top of funnel.
So here’s my Call To Action. If you read this far without injecting euthanasia drugs into your face, you should probably say hello: email@example.com.